White Wave
by AlterEthereal
Summary: Sasuke has a kunai, and Naruto gets desperate. No pairings. Just kind of weird, fluffy friendship. Very drabbley.


**edit: **6/26/06 - Streetwise's review prompted me to dust it off. Really there's only one minor change, but I like it _so_ much better now.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto. I don't own Sarah McLachlan's song _Silence_ either. I own... socks.

**Warnings:** Uh... a bit of blood and lots of angst. And kind of weirdly fluffy friendship between Sasuke and Naruto.

**White Wave**

"I," Sasuke says firmly without lowering his kunai even the slightest bit, "am being perfectly rational."

Naruto can only stand there, trying vainly to think of a solution. If he moves, he bets the kunai that his friend is holding will move, too. "No, Sasuke, there's got to be a better way."

"There's not. This is the only way to get what I want."

A certain familiar desperation fills the younger boy. "But what's rational about killing yourself?"

_Give me release, witness me  
I am outside, give me peace_

The boy bathed in shadows replies in a hushed tone, "It's simple, dumbass. I'll never have peace as long as one of us is alive. And since I can't kill him..." With every word, his resolve strengthens. He slides the kunai lightly, just a little.

"Sasuke, please don't..." Naruto decides that if he doesn't move, the kunai will move anyway, so he takes a few bold steps toward the other boy. He watches as Sasuke takes a step backward and keeps his eyes downcast.

"Would you deny me this?" And Sasuke lifts his gaze to catch Naruto's. The blue-eyed boy begins to tremble.

"...Yes."

"Why?"

_Heaven holds a sense of wonder  
I wanted to believe  
That I'd get caught up  
When the rage in me subsided_

"I lost you once before, and back then I hated you," Naruto recalled. "Maybe it's selfish, but I don't want to lose you again, not now!"

"Why can you be selfish and I can't?"

It takes a moment or two. "Because by dying you hurt so many more people."

"By living I hurt just as many in the future. Including you."

"Sasuke..." Naruto has no other reply.

"I'm better off dead."

"No..." The blond thinks he can make it if he tries really really hard. "No!"

There's a rush, a sharp clang -- both Sasuke and his kunai are on the floor, and both boys are covered in warm blood.

_Passion chokes the flower  
'Til she cries no more  
Possessing all the beauty  
Hungry still for more_

"Naruto... Why won't you let me? I'm saving lives... you, and Sakura." Sasuke sits up and reaches for the kunai again, but a foot gets in the way.

Naruto grits his teeth and chokes on saliva. "Stop being weak, Sasuke! Real strength is knowing when to ask for help, and you know I'd help you! Without hesitation!"

A pale, beautiful, young face is now bathed in the red glow of sunset. Black eyes don't blink for a little while, and then they speak. "That's the same hand."

Naruto's eyes are confused. "What?"

"As that time in Wave country. How many times will it be pierced with a kunai?"

"As many as it has to be, I guess." His face heats up a little as he examines his wounded body.

"I'm sick of being me, Naruto."

Sasuke sits indian style and tries to seem casual, but his rival doesn't believe it. Naruto doesn't know what to believe anymore, now that he's heard the tired-eyed boy say that he doesn't like being Uchiha Sasuke, the most talented, the most popular, the most beautiful. Though he figures now that maybe he should have been able to guess.

Kneeling slowly onto the tatami floor, the small boy wraps his arms around the bigger one's shoulders.

And they are content to sit for a while.

_In this white wave, I am sinking  
In this silence, in this white wave  
In this silence  
I believe_

"Sorry for getting your shirt soaked with all this blood," Naruto tries to lighten the mood, despite how dreary the topic is.

"It should've been my blood," Sasuke says. Naruto is grateful anyway, because Sasuke is using the past tense, and that means that he's succeeded for now.

He looks down at the dark-haired ninja in his bright orange arms. "Can I tell you a secret?"

Sasuke says nothing, but flickers his eyes upward for just a fraction of a moment.

"Well, I guess that's enough, 'cause I'm going to tell you whether you say yes or not. Once, right after I found out something really terrible, I tried to kill myself. And I must really not be able to do anything right, because... well, obviously I'm still here!"

"You moron, I should've figured you'd find a way to screw up something so simple."

"And that you didn't is a credit to me!" Sunlight in a wide smile.

"It's a credit to your façade. I didn't think you'd try."

"Which is also a credit to me!"

"So why should I know this?"

"Well, I thought maybe it would help, if youknew that I didn't want to be Uzumaki Naruto all the time either."

"You're such an idiot. But thanks." Moonlight in dark eyes.

_I have seen you in this white wave  
You are silent, you are breathing  
In this white wave  
I am free_

**OWARI **

**Author's Note: **Please don't kill me. Or flood my inbox with hate mail. _-sweatdrop-_

Yes, I know I was supposed to be working on LC and IaD, since I haven't updated those in forever, but I felt like spewing out some random Sasuke crap after reading The Ambitious Blank's _Numb _(such amazing angsty goodness).

And yes, this is TERRIBLE, and cliche (though not as frequent as suicidal!Naruto fics), and yes, I know that this doesn't even make a long toss toward being a substitute for a new chap of either of my other stories. And it's a weird writing style for me. Please forgive this humble dork.

If it makes up for it, I've found a lovely assortment of anime-related techno that's free for streaming. If anyone wants the link, just drop me an email and I'll send it to you, since ff is a butthead about urls.


End file.
